Things look extremely different on xanga now. I think it may almost have been like two years since I wrote on here. Crazy...but regardless if anyone reads this I think I have decided that I need a blog. If not for others to read, for myself. I just spent about an hour reading over all my xanga entries. It brought me back to the last 6 months of my time in New Zealand and the first 6 months of my time after I returned. I think I quit writing because I was done with my "AIM time". However, I have decided not to quit writing. I want to write more and share more about what the Lord is doing in my life. My life has changed so much since I last wrote. At times I know I have grown in my faith, and other times I feel as if I haven't. 

Have you ever read past journal entries and you find yourself ministering to yourself? That happened to me today. And it is so cool how the person speaking to me (ultimately is the Lord), but is myself. I read an entree at a time when I was hurting so bad (and I know I was) and yet I said "I'm not giving up". I needed to hear that today for some reason. To be reminded of how God worked in my life and how he is still working in my life. Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions? I feel that way now and I have felt that way for awhile. I long to be closer to the Lord again. Brent and I are in ministry (and going to school), but ultimately we will be in ministry and sometimes I think being in ministry makes you feel like you are "supposed" to be close to God, or you "have to be" close to God. It becomes a profession rather than a choice. And it needs to be a choice, otherwise you just go through the motions. I want to choose to grow closer to Him again.

I choose the Lord.

Thanks for listening to my rambling.

-rachel

So, it has been forever since I have updated. I feel like such a nerd. But I've been really busy and a lot of things have happened lately. Well first of all I'm working now - woohoo! I got a job at a medical office in the afternoons. At the company we supply people with home medical equipment. Its really complicated but I have learned a lot. My other job was totally a God thing I believe. It just kind of fell into my lap. Olivia Martin subs for a daycare and she got me in as a sub as well. Then after two times being a sub, they wanted to hire me on parttime. Now after being there about a month, they have offered me a full time position with my own classroom and own class! I will be teaching preschool starting fulltime in July. They even gave me a teacher's discount card at Barnes and Noble. I am so excited truly! I have always wanted to be a teacher, and now I feel like one :) It is so exciting! I even get to decorate my own classroom. Who knows where this will take me? I know this is a God thing though, just with everything that has happened with this job. I feel like its the right direction for me. I love that feeling!

So the other exciting news in my life is that I got engaged! Which I'm sure some of you who are reading this already know, but you can just bare with me and hear it anyway. Two weeks ago Brent took me out to a really nice dinner and then we went for a walk in the park (the park where we had our first kiss) and about halfway around the park he proposed! It was so nice outside with the stars and a full moon in the sky. So I said yes and it felt like a dream. We took engagement photos just yesterday, so once I see them and pick out the ones I like I will put one or two on here probably. Oh, the wedding is planned for January 6th 2007. It will be in Oregon (cause thats where I'm from). Anyways, thats all my exciting news for now - but I just wanted to update. Love you guys lots!

In HIM, rachel

Oh! I do have one cool pic. My friend Laura came from NZ and visited here in Lubbock. Here is Tash (another girl who came from NZ), me, Olivia, Laura and David.

Reverse culture shock continues....

I can't believe its April already! Time is going by so fast at the moment it seems. I'm working on my fourth month of being away from New Zealand and yet I still think about it everyday, and more lately it seems. How is it that I would feel more comfortable over there then over here? I guess it is going to take more time until I surrender myself to the fact that I am here and I need to adjust to it. I've forgotten how hard reverse culture can be...I feel so unstable at the moment in every part of my life. Job, finances, relationships....etc....but I'm sure I will get back to normal sometime soon. Regardless of how bad I seem to think it is though, God is taking care of me and it is evident in the people he has placed in my life around me. Brent, you have been an amazing emotional support to me and always have been. Holly, your friendship is so refreshing to me and it has been exactly what I need - I pray we continue to get closer. Love you!    Christi, your phone conversations always make me feel 100% better no matter what I'm feeling! And Chase - I cannot wait till you get here! The thought of it puts a huge smile on my face!

 YAY!

Brent and I have joined a small group on Sunday nights and it has been so wonderful. Olivia Martin and David (Ross) Nelson invited us and it makes Sundays more enjoyable (since they seem to be the hardest day). I have also started studying once a week with Heather York again and that has actually been really good for me. It reminds me that I do have a purpose and it feels like I am doing something meaningful. Sometimes I wonder where God is, but all I have to do is look around at the people in my life and I know He is working. Oh! And I finally got a job! YAY! I've only worked 3 days, but it is going pretty good so far. I work at a medical office. They provide people medical equipment for at home care. I've still got a lot to learn.

For those of you in New Zealand, I love you and miss you! And Hannie and Evan, even though you aren't in New Zealand anymore you guys are two people I miss the most! And congrats on your engagement ;)

One last thing...I have a prayer request. I just found out last night when I received an email that a family that Jaime and I ministered to who were involved in Kidz Club are going through yet another tough time. A few years ago the father committed suicide and one of the little boys found the father after he had died. We met the mother and 3 children after this had happened and they began coming to Kidz Club. All of the Kidz Club leaders began to get closer to the family and reach out to them. They came to church a few times. We lost contact with them after awhile, but just found out that Oscar (the boy who found his father) committed suicide. He was only 7 years old. Please pray for this family. I wish I could be in New Zealand right now. Oscar was in my bible in schools class - Brady, if you are reading this do you remember? He used to call you dad....we always thought it was weird, but he just wanted to be loved. Another part of the whole experience - leaving a place that you love, and not being able to be there when things like this happen. Please pray.

Love to all, rachel

Well, I made it to Lubbock! I have actually been here for a little over a week, but there has been no time to sit down and write. I graduated last Saturday and it was so nice to see everyone again. In some ways it felt like no time had gone by at all. I got to see all my New Zealand buddies as well as everyone from my class that I haven't seen in the last 2 years. Jaime and I were the last two to graduate (because Tauranga is near the end of the alphabet), and I actually was the last one to graduate. It was quite funny! Here are some pics from graduation for you to enjoy!

New Zealand AIMers back together again + David Ross

Jaime and I after we graduated

Some of the AIM graduates; Ivica, Joe, Neil, Brent, Tim and Jason

me with three of my new roommates and Amanda Willis....me, Ginger, Holly, Beth, Amanda

Jaime, the lovely Lailah and myself. Love you Lailah and miss you already!

Pam and me

It was so much fun to see everyone again. Now the hard part starts. I'm trying to find a job at the moment and just trying to get settled again. The last of the visitors left today and now things will get back to normal. So, pray I will find a job. I'm all moved into my apartment with my new roommates. Yay! Love you guys already!

-rachel